banana wars, feb 2009May 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm | Posted in welcome to the monkey house | Leave a comment
Me, T (3 years 9 months), A (9 months), C (T’s friend from nursery), M (C’s sister, 1 and a half), and G (C and M’s mum). All in my car (7 seats!) on the way back from children’s farm.
T and C: (mournfully, from seats too far back in car to contact them) I’m reaalllly reaaaallly huuuungry
G: I’ve got some bananas in my bag, does T want one?
Me: I’ll give him the one I brought, you’re all right
[I stop the car and get out, then stupidly give T whole banana when I should have split it between T and C, as you will see…]
C: I want a banana
G: Are you sure? Oh dear, you won’ t like it, it’s all squashed. Have some crisps
C: (bursts into tears) I don’t WANT crisps! I want a banana!
A: (wakes up) ???
G: It’s all squashed, C. Do you really want it?
G: Ok then, here you go
C: (wails) It’s all squaaaaashed
G(grits teeth): Ok here are the crisps then
M (sings): BA BA BA BA BA BAAAH!
[Brief silence as we set off again]
M: want banana!
G: I’ve got a plum, M, here, you have that
[We set off again]
Charlie: I can’t open my crisps
[I put reggae CD on and they are all asleep within 5 minutes]